How to Love Me Well

Recently, I re-read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  His premise is that there are certain ways we give and receive love… in other words, love is a “language” that we can learn to speak.  Hence, the title. 

According to Chapman, there are 5 primary ways that we give/receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. After reading and analyzing, I’ve gone so far as to break mine down with percentages…   

40% Words of Affirmation – This is huuuuuuge for me!  I feel MOST loved when someone affirms me (verbally or written).  A genuine compliment can make my day.  Encouraging words inspire me.  Hearing, “I love you” is important, but hearing the reasons behind that love sends my spirits skyward.  (Conversely, insults/criticism yield equal power to shatter me.)

30% Gifts – I love thoughtful gifts.  (That being said, my birthday’s coming up!!!)  It’s a desire for someone to put thought into a gift they know I’ll love, not just something idly purchased in haste.  Gifts don’t have to be expensive; a (free) flower picked from a garden will let me know that someone was thinking of me…and I feel loved.  I would rather receive no gift at all than one that’s meaningless. 

20% Physical Touch – In general, I wouldn’t say that I’m a touchy person, but I do appreciate hugs from loved ones.  In the context of a relationship, I need physical touch, though I’m not big on public displays of affection.

5% Quality Time – As an introvert, quality time (not surprisingly) ranks pretty low for me.  I do well being alone.  I don’t have to spend tons of time with someone to feel loved.  Just don’t.

5% Acts of Service – Acts of service also scores low.  It’s nice when someone does something for me (takes out the trash, unloads the dishwasher), but I can also do it myself, thank you.  (Independent, anyone?)

What is your primary love language?


~ by Serena on July 2, 2010.

One Response to “How to Love Me Well”

  1. […] and knowing they took the time (and money) to think of you in that way.  (This is coming from a Words of Affirmation girl, after […]

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