Why?

cemetery-crossI spent an entire day working on a funeral program for a 22-year-old young man from my church several weeks ago.  He committed suicide.

Why?  Why would a 22-year-old take his life?  What was so miserable that he didn’t think he could go on living?  What was going through his mind during his final, breathing moments? 

(Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve had hopeless times when I’ve literally prayed that God would take my life.  Call me a coward, but I could never actually physically harm myself.)

I didn’t know Justin.  Nor did I know the 9-year-old from our church who died from cancer this past summer.  Or the 40-something-year-old who died last year.

Doing funeral programs is not my favorite part of my job.  In fact, I hate it.  It has nothing to do with my phobia of funerals.  (That’s another story for another blog entry.) 

It has everything to do with my selfishness.  Funeral programs consume my time. They’re thrown together at the last minute.  It’s difficult to get the information that I need in order to finish them.  Working on them puts me in a bad mood.

Yet, somewhere through all the selfishness, it’s somewhat comforting to know that a few hours of my time and talents can somehow touch a hurting family.  And that makes it all worth it.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” -Revelation 21:4

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~ by Serena on January 29, 2009.

One Response to “Why?”

  1. First off, thank you for the wonderful work you do and did on justins program. Secondly, that’s my favorite bible verse. It’s comforted me many a time.

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